Simplify–Why Less is More

Guest post by Leo Babauta, author of The Power of Less: The 6 Essential Productivity Principals That Will Change Your Life.

Omit Needless Things.

What are Anxiety Attacks?

Anxiety attacks can range from mild to debilitating and demonstrate themselves in numerous symptoms. For the most part, an anxiety or panic attack brings on an intense feeling of anxiety of worry that causes feelings of fear, physical illness, and discomfort. In some cases there is an event that triggers such an attack, but it is also possible that the trigger is unknown. The episodes can be random and come on instantly.

During the attack the body produces extra hormones to prepare the body for its "fight or flight" action, which is what causes the symptoms to become more profound. A person who suffers from anxiety attacks will tell you that he/she feels like they are having a heart attack or cannot breathe, thus giving them the feeling that they are going to die. It may cause them to try to flee from the area in order to try to escape the feelings of anxiety or panic.

The most common symptoms of such an attack include increased blood pressure and heart rate, which often causes flushing of the skin, chest tightness or pain, profuse sweating, a feeling that you are sick to your stomach or that you may throw up, and a feeling of lightheadedness. In the majority of sufferers, the feeling of chest tightness precipitates an attack, which leads them to think they need to call emergency services.

There are different triggers and causes of anxiety attacks. Heredity plays a part in this and studies have found that panic attacks tend to run in families. At the same time, people with no family history also develop such attacks, so the cause cannot be based on heredity alone. Many panic attacks have been attributed to deficiencies in the diet, such as a deficiency in Vitamin B. Phobias result from anxiety attacks when a person is exposed to a real threat over a long period of time.

The use of caffeine can lead to such attacks, especially during the withdrawal process. Doctors have also found that thyroid problems and anemia lead to feelings of anxiety that can develop into full blown attacks the longer the condition goes undiagnosed and untreated. There are many people who perceive a threat in their everyday life and can actually talk themselves into an anxiety attack when they worry excessively about what might happen if an event occurs.

Traumatic experiences in one’s life can also be a trigger for such an attack. Although those who suffer from anxiety attacks feel as if they are going to die, these feelings are the body’s ways of preventing this from happening. When a trigger occurs, the body starts producing extra adrenaline to prepare it for strenuous physical activity, such as running, which may be needed to ward off the threat. This, in turn, increases the heart rate and breathing rate and increases the amount of perspiration.

When no physical activity occurs or is needed, then these increases in the body cause hyperventilation as the levels of carbon dioxide increase in the heart and lungs. This increase in carbon dioxide is the cause of the feelings of dizziness, nausea, and sensations of numbness in the limbs. Breathing into a paper bag can help alleviate anxiety attacks, although many experts say it can be dangerous.  Taking deep breaths from the abdomen helps to slow down the heart rate and bring the blood pressure back to acceptable levels, thus reducing the intensity of the attack.

10 Ways To Give Yourself A Procrastination Inoculation

This is a guest post from Karen Leland, author of the book, Time Management In An Instant.

You know what you need to do. You know why you need to do it. You even know what steps you must take to get it done. But there’s one small problem: you can’t seem to get moving. It’s a common problem. Maybe it’s chronic procrastination or maybe you’re just so overwhelmed that you feel paralyzed. Either way, the task you must complete is just sitting there, gathering metaphorical (or perhaps literal) dust, and growing more ominous by the day.

A recently study by Dr. Piers Steel, a professor at the University of Calgary concluded that procrastination is on the rise. According to Steel’s research, in 1978 about 15 percent of the population were considered moderate procrastinators. Today that number is up to 60 percent, a four-fold increase. While procrastination is to some degree a natural phenomenon and can’t be completely eradicated, you can use the following ten strategies to to get in the habit of getting things done.

1. Take advantage of your power hours. Are you an early riser who tackles your morning to-do list with all the gusto of a bear eating honey? Perhaps you’re a night-owl and crank through your most pressing projects at 11:00 p.m.?

Either way, knowing and taking advantage of your natural energy patterns will help you steer clear of procrastination by using your power times to tackle the projects you find most challenging.

2. Focus for five minutes. The hardest part of overcoming procrastination is often just getting started. For a tedious task that you have been putting off try setting a timer for five-minutes and get to work. When the alarm sounds, if you feel like stopping – don’t be surprised if that first five minutes turns into 10, 15 and 20.

3. Create cues. Write down the item you need to do and place it somewhere where you can see it – your refrigerator door, car dashboard, calender, iphone, bathroom mirror. Posting prompts on items you are procrastinating about in a highly visible place, helps remind you to get them done.

4. Use the clout of your calendar: Do you have a task that has been lingering on your to-do list for days, weeks or even (gulp) months? If so, use the clout of your calendar to move from inertia to action. Open your planner or PDA and schedule a specific date and time period when you promise yourself that you will work on that item – and that item only.

5. Decide on the next action: One reason people procrastinate is they feel intimidated by the task as it is currently stated and can’t figure out what to do next. To overcome overwhelm, figure out the next smallest, easiest and most comfortable action you could take to move forward. By breaking down the bigger less defined item into smaller more specific chunks, you tell your mind “I can do this”!

6. Give yourself credit all along the way: The moment you take any action (no matter how small) – give yourself credit. Don’t wait until the entire to-do is complete before experiencing at least some degree of satisfaction and accomplishment.

7. Tackle the hard ones first: Almost everyone has more focus, energy and attention available at the beginning of their workday than at the end. When you have to do a hard task, get it out of the way and do it first thing in the morning. This way it won’t nag at you all day long.

8. Be decisive: Putting off a decision on what to do with that piece of paper won’t be any easier tomorrow than it is today. Train yourself to categorize every item that comes across your desk as something to do now, delegate, dump, or defer. Defer does not mean placing it back in the pile and pretending it does not exist. That is the pathway to procrastination. It means putting it in a dated tickler file, scheduling a time to do it, or moving it to a someday to-do list – where the guilt and stress of procrastination don’t apply.

9. Enlist encouragement. Tell a close friend what you’re going to accomplish by when and ask them to check in on your progress. Going public can create a self-imposed pressure to shun procrastination and perform. Having a buddy who can celebrate your successes, and help you maintain perspective when you procrastinate is invaluable.

10. Play let’s make a deal. To get yourself moving on a hard to do activity, try a bribe. Make a promise to yourself that when you stop procrastinating and take some action on the item, you get a reward. This can be a piece of chocolate, watching a favorite tv show, spending time with your family - anything that you value and will motivate you to get moving.

by Karen Leland

Be Happier by Complaining Less

One very rainy day I met with several clients and kept track of how many complaints about the weather I heard. Twenty-four! Even the cashier in the grocery store complained about the weather. And not one complaint changed the weather. I guess that's my complaint about complaints. Complaining is not effective in creating change. Lily Tomlin tells this joke: "Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines “complain” as “to express pain, grief or discontent.” And certainly there are appropriate times that you need to complain. We all have the right to express pain. And yet dozens of complaints every day can have a very negative impact on your health, your relationships, and your quality of life. Studies have shown that complaining about your health actually tends to make your health worse.

From my point of view, incessant complaining is a self-destructive habit. If you want to claim your power, feel happier, and less stressed in life, then stop complaining. Take up assertiveness instead to state the facts. For example, a simple statement of fact ("The shipment didn't arrive as scheduled.") is very different from a complaint ("You people always mess up my orders.")

Here's my advice:

1. Stop and Notice.

Notice every time you whine, judge yourself or others, make nasty comments (even in your head), or negatively vent your feelings. Just take note that you're doing it. Perhaps you can jot it down. Your complaints may be about the weather, your boss, the kids, your spouse, the flavor of the mustard in your sandwich, the crazy drivers on the road, your too tight jeans, your bad hair day, or not having enough time. Count your complaints each day.

2. Analyze for Control.

So many complaints are outside of your control. There's absolutely nothing you can do to change the situation. This would include things like the weather, the other drivers on the road, or your country's foreign policy. If that's the case, you need to let it go. If you can control it, then change it. If you can't control a situation, do you have some influence? Then use your influence in a positive way to effect some change.

3. Analyze for Effectiveness.

Then ask yourself if your complaints helped the matter.  Or did your complaints cause you to focus more on what you didn't want? In other words, is complaining effective as a strategy for getting what you want? If it is, then keep complaining. If not, learn to let go. And give yourself some time to do this. Deeply ingrained habits take some time.

4. Beware of Secondary Gain.

If you just can't give up complaining, then you may want to look at your secondary gains. This is a psychological term meaning the benefits of undesirable behavior. It implies that you're getting something out of complaining that keeps the bad habit in place. It may be personal attention, self-pity, or release from unpleasant responsibilities. You remain in a "victim consciousness." And feeling like a victim contributes to both depression and anxiety. Is that really what you want?

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."          --Maya Angelou

Copyright © 2009 Kathie Keeler, All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored, or transferred by any print or electronic means without the express written consent of the copyright owner. Thank you!

How to Talk to Your Kids if You Did Drugs

Teenage drug abuse is a serious problem and you don't want your child to have self-destructive habits. You, in fact, did drugs yourself. You know a lot  about it and you have valuable opinions. Addiction can lead to a lot of misery. A few things to consider when talking to your kid:

1. This isn't about you.

We all want to warn our kids against the dangers of drug abuse. But the single biggest reason so many of us are reluctant to start the conversation is because we're afraid we'll be asked that uncomfortable question: "Mom, Dad...did you do drugs?" So let's start by stating the obvious: This isn't about what you did or didn't do. It's about what your child is going to do or not do. So let's talk about how your personal experiences might help steer your child in a good direction.

2. Experts disagree.

For every therapist who recommends openness and honesty about your past, another advises caution. The fact is, you can say too much. A good place to start is by considering your child.  Some kids demand candor. Others are happy just to talk. Use your judgment. You know your kids better than anyone.

3.  When to lie.

In our opinion? Never. Some parents who used drugs in the past choose not to tell the truth, but risk losing their credibility if their kids discover the real story from a talkative uncle at a family party. Many experts recommend you give an honest answer--or no answer at all.

4. The whole truth?

Try to avoid giving your child more information than she or he asked for. (No need to reveal you smoked marijuana 132 times!) This is not a courtroom; it's a conversation.

5. Say what you mean to say.

Like other important conversations you'll have with your kids, the point you're trying to make is what really matters. In this case, it's crucial your kids understand that you don't want them to use drugs. Don't beat about the bush; say so. ("I don't want you to use drugs.") Then give your reasons why. ("Drugs are dangerous, expensive, unpredictable, distracting...") And yes, it's okay to have a lot of reasons.

6. What have you learned?

Before you talk, take stock. You've lived your entire life in a culture where drugs are a fact of life. From the headlines on TV to your own experiences, you've seen too many examples of how drugs can change young lives for the worse. Your own experiences with drugs are just part of the bigger picture. The real opportunity here is to share what you've learned.

7.  You could say it like this:

"I tried drugs because some kids I knew were experimenting, and I thought I needed to try drugs to fit in. It took me a while to discover that's never a very good reason to do anything. Do you ever feel pressured like that?"

8.  Or like this:

"Everyone makes mistakes and trying drugs was a mistake I made. It made me do some dumb things. And it's hard to look back and see that I got anything good out of the experience. I love you too much to watch you repeat bad decisions I made."

9. Or even like this:

"My experience with drugs is no guarantee that yours would be the same. Drugs affect everyone differently. So I wanted to share my experiences with you, because even if drugs didn't ruin my life, I've seen them ruin other people's lives. And God forbid you should be one of those people."

10.  Don't just talk. Listen.

You can anticipate that your child's first reaction when you raise the subject of drugs will be to be quiet. So do your darndest to make it a two-way conversation. Ask what they think. Ask if it's a subject their friends talk about. Ask what they think of celebrities who use drugs. Keep asking questions. And listen to the answers.

11. Stay calm.

Whatever happens, try not to raise your voice.  If you do lose your temper, try to catch yourself. It's okay to admit that these conversations aren't easy for you, either. And if things aren't going so well, suggest talking about it again another time. ("I didn't mean to surprise you or make you feel awkward. Let's talk again in a day or two.")

12. Good luck.

Yes, it's difficult to know how to talk to your kids about drugs. You don't want them to hold your history up as some kind of a precedent to follow, or as a tool to use against you.  But you may be able to use your life experiences as a teachable moment. So even if you're nervous, don't put off having the conversation. This isn't about your past. This is about your child's future.

This article as been reprinted by permission from drugfree.org.