Assert Yourself

Assertiveness is the practice of openly and honestly expressing your feelings, learning about your rights as a human being, firmly and kindly protecting those rights (without feeling guilty) and becoming more aware of who you are. Assertiveness is NOT aggressiveness. Nor is it bluntness. Assertiveness training can help the angry, aggressive person just as much as it can help the meek, passive person.

Almost any therapist can help you to become more assertive. Although you can read a book about it or read about it on the internet, it's very difficult to apply unless you have a "mirror"--another caring and emotionally healthy human being who can accurately communicate to you how they see you. If you choose to use a friend or family member, be aware that the person you have chosen may have a hidden agenda--it may serve them to have you behave in certain ways that benefit their lives.

Assertiveness is for everyone. But, it's particularly powerful for those people who suffer from "learned helplessness." For example, many people have adopted the "victim stance" their parent(s) modeled for them when they were kids. Learned helplessness is characterized by passivity, powerlessness, and strong dependency needs. Some people call this the "doormat syndrome."

The benefits of becoming more assertive tremendous:

• less stress
• improved communication
• better relationships
• more self confidence
• greater self-awareness
• better decision-making skills

Using these assertiveness tips is a terrific way to take good care of yourself while respecting the rights of others as well.