Perspective–Tools for Tough Times

If you stand high on a mountaintop looking down at the valley below, you have a unique perspective. You can see a bigger picture. Sometimes we need to step back and search for a bigger picture in life. The view is different.

We may not have the same perspective when the crisis has passed. If you're anything like me, you can look back on a past crisis and wonder why you got so upset about it at the time. Because things changed, as they always do.

When you're looking at alternatives, you will often find things you wouldn't have seen had you not been forced to look.

For example, a client of mine was laid off from his job.  He found that he had some marketable skills which he could now focus on full time. It turned out that the crisis was actually an opportunity for growth for him. Here are some practical tips for you to take a bigger perspective during challenging times.

• Be flexible in your thinking. Keep your mind open. It will help you to see the diamond in the pile of coal.

• This too shall pass. There's an ebb and flow to life.  Sometimes life is great; sometimes it's not. Knowing that you've survived rough times before should give you some hope that you can do it again.

• Choose optimism. Decide right now that you're going to see the glass half full, not half empty. Look for the positive in every crisis. It's there. But it may take some looking.

• List the tasks that need to be done. For example, if there has been a death in the family, there may be a lot of things to do. As you start listing those things (call relatives and friends, arrange for the funeral, write an obituary, etc.) you can then see what needs to be done, and what is less important. Number the high priority items by importance.

• Let go of what's not important. As you work with your list of tasks, start eliminating the things that aren't high priority. Let them go.

• Let go of what you can't control. There are certain things in every crisis that you just can't control.  The trick is to identify and then let go of those things.

• Ask the experts. If you have a financial crisis, talk to a financial expert. If it's a legal problem, talk to an attorney. People often forget this important tool.

• Ask yourself, "What am I learning through this crisis?" Write it down. The lessons that we learn in life can help us through the next difficulty.

• Tune into your faith. A lot of people smarter than me have said that we can choose fear or we can choose  faith. What if you absolutely knew that you would be able to find some higher purpose in the crisis that you're going through. Would it make a difference? When pressed, most people can identify the higher purpose from previous rough times. If you choose faith that there is, in fact, some higher purpose for your challenge, would you fight against it so much?

Prescription for Burnout–Caregiver Syndrome

Caregiver Syndrome is the name for the ongoing emotional stress and physical strain of caring for a loved one.

You may feel exhausted, fatigued, powerless, anxious, depressed, or overwhelmed.

You may have physical symptoms such as high blood pressure and a compromised immune system. Perhaps you feel sad or resentful.

There's too much to do and not enough time to do it. You're not getting enough sleep and not watching your nutrition. There are so many demands and not enough help in your life.

Who's prone to burnout?

• Those who can't say no.

• People who sacrifice themselves, putting themselves last

• Perfectionists

• Nonassertive people

• People who are impatient with themselves

• People who have difficulty setting limits with others

• People who have control issues

• People who are unwilling to confront their own fears

• People who have big hearts, who are empathetic

What do I do?

The articles on this website are designed to help you to overcome caregiver syndrome. What you really need to do is learn to take good care of yourself. That's a process, a journey. As you learn to take time for yourself, give back to yourself, you're going to get better and better.

You will need to look at your self-destructive habits--those habits that rob you of your energy, health, vitality, and well-being. If you're going to be there for others, you will need to first be there for yourself.

Claim your power. You can change things. One day at a time. Start looking at those areas of your life where you have given away your power. Assertiveness is absolutely essential if you're going to take good care of yourself.

Finding support

If you don't have enough support in your life, it's time to change things. You need support. We all need each other. Do you have family members who can be supportive of you? Make a list of extended family members who may be able to be supportive of you in one way or another.

Start connecting with others.  What do they do to get the relief that they need? Ask. Spend time with others--either in person, on the phone, or on the internet.

Good luck.