10 Myths About Therapy

November 5, 2009 by Kathie Keeler
Filed under Therapy 101

1. Therapy is for crazy people.

Therapy is for people who have enough self-awareness to realize they need a helping hand. Therapy helps you learn tools and techniques to improve your quality of life and intimate relationships.

2. The therapist will fix my problems.

The therapist focuses on strengths while helping you to identify unhealthy patterns and symptoms in your life that you need to change. The therapist is somewhat like a personal trainer in a gym – they can make suggestions and be a guide, but you still have to do the work.

3. If I go to counseling, everyone will know.

Therapy is confidential. We can't tell your family members, employers, or friends what you've said without your written consent. The exceptions to this are if you threaten to harm yourself or someone else, we're required by law to tell appropriate authorities. We are also required by law to report child abuse if it has occurred within the past eight years. Some people ask about reportable abuse by saying something like, "Suppose I had a friend who.... Would you report that?" We can talk about your "friend."

4. The counselor will judge me and my life.

We are actually trained to be nonjudgmental. And we've heard it all. We're here to help you, not judge you. A friend recently said to me, "If you really knew me, you wouldn't like me." That's a fear that she shares with a lot of people. And it just says that you're judging yourself harshly. If you stop to think about it, don't you love your friends and loved ones even more when they open up to you?

5. The counselor will tell me what to do.

I heard it again just the other day. "Are you going to tell us to get a divorce?" We can't do that. You are the one who must make your important life decisions. If you're severely depressed, we may highly recommend that you see your doctor for antidepressants. But we're not going to tell you what you have to do. It's still your life, your path. And you must make your own decisions.

6. Therapy takes forever.

That used to be the case many years ago. It's no longer the case today. Most therapists are trained in brief, solution-focused therapy. The average person comes six times. Some people only need one or two visits. Once they have a few suggestions and resources, they can handle things on their own.

7. Therapy is too expensive.

Although it can be expensive, it doesn't have to be. I regularly see clients whose insurance pays everything except a $10 - $20 copay. There are community resources that can help you if you need free or low-cost therapy.

8. Therapy doesn’t work.

There's a lot of research that says therapy is a highly effective tool to guide you toward the physical, emotional, and spiritual place you’re missing. It is important to understand what therapy can and cannot accomplish. It’s also important to recognize your goals for therapy.

9. Therapy is about being analyzed.

Most of today’s therapy is about working toward goals, not being psychologically dissected. It's very here-and-now. And, no, I don't sit and analyze people when I'm at a dinner party. I enjoy their company. I have the privilege of helping people to focus on their strengths, identify their problem areas, and help them to find solutions to problems.

10. Going to therapy means that I am not strong enough.

We all need help now and then. And none of us can see ourselves in the way that an outsider can see us. And the problem with just talking to a friend is that your friend may not have the skills, training, patience, or courage to tell you what you really need to hear. Sometimes an impartial third party can give you feedback that your closest friends wouldn't dare say.

Now that you know the common myths about therapy, won't you give it a try? Your life will improve in so many ways.

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